Sleep and Other Things

Sleep is an excellent thing, it changes your perspective on the whole world. I spent roughly fifty percent of last night studying, and so find myself severely lacking sleep today. So, although I should be having a perfectly good day (passed Natural Sciences and almost beat Dave), I'm not. I'm unhappy. And all for a little sleep.

Just a "btw": Bryan and I had our house inspection today, and now have the closing scheduled for eight days from now.... I'm seriously anticipating this.

Just looking at my comment above about beating Dave: Does this indicate that I am enormously too competitive? Really though, it's one of only two ways that I can motivate myself. (The other being desire for something, material or immaterial.) Is that just pride? Or is it healthy? I'm not sure.

The other day I was commenting on placing blame on yourself or others. I watched The Apprentice (the best reality show, btw) just now. It truly typifies that concept. Two people, near the beginning were fired for not standing up for themselves, for accepting responsibility. While that appears noble, it can also give off the impression of guilt. Tonight, a person was fired who put everyone off by continually finding excuses and placing blame. I'm thinking more and more that both are equally bad habits.

Question of the day: Do those that look inward tend to become Calvinists and those that look outward become Arminian?

Where the Problems Lie

Have you ever noticed how some people, when they encounter a problem, immediately look around them, and others immediately look at themselves?

On first sight, it seems as if the latter is better, but I think that each can be taken out of balance. Finger-pointing and an unwillingness to accept blame are ugly, but so is a person racked by doubt and unneeded guilt.

I'm wondering if this tendency is born or bred? Whichever, I think that it is deeply deeply rooted in ourselves. This is a characteristic that may not even be discernable to any but those who know you very well. Even those people who are outwardly the most confident are often, inside themselves, trying to figure out what they could have done wrong. And those who outwardly accept responsibility are inwardly often looking for who to blame.

What we have to learn is that both extremes are wrong. One may look responsible and strong, but inwardly it creates fear. The other may look wise, but inwardly it creates pride. True wisdom and responsibility lie in the balance.

Random

Practical jokes are way too stinking fun, and they're useful too, very revelatory of character.... It is weird attempting to anticipate the possibility of disliking one of your best friends....

Weird things sometimes happen in life, like me helping in what could be the downfall of an antiIBLP e-mail loop. Last week I stepped up to defend IBLP on the e-mail loop, and wound up splitting the list between those who were emotionally and unreasonably antiIBLP and those who were thoughtfully opposed to IBLP. Now the list may be breaking up with several of the more prominent members leaving, in order to avoid the harrassment and haranguing of the more emotional members. I wonder if I'm going to get a thank you card from Mr. Gothard?

People You Never Meet

There are lots of people who play roles in our lives that we never meet. I'm not talking the "butterfly in Japan causing a hurricane" thing here. Rather, I'm talking about those people that we watch routinely that affect who we are. Characters in books, movies, TV shows.... And, for me particularly at this moment, sports players.

Right now I'm watching the Texas Longhorns play the Oklahoma State Cowboys. The season is almost over, and I am realizing that this will be one of my last opportunities to see the seniors on this team (Royal Ivey, Brandon Mouton, James Thomas, and Brian Boddicker) play. I see these guys and remember how long I've watched them for, and just know, I'm going to miss them. Yet, I've never met them. When (if?) they lose in the tournament this year, I'll feel sorrow for the loss, but there will be more sorrow for the fact that I won't see them play again.

These guys changed the way I played basketball, and changed my approach to competition generally. As trivial as it may seem, they did in fact change me.

So, how do I thank those that have affected me so? Remember what I learned? Give them credit? I don't know... that seems so trite, but maybe that's all there is to it.